Saturday, May 19, 2012

To my Uncle whom I love...


To my Uncle, whom I love;

                Some of my earliest memories are traveling to my family’s quaint hometown of Hotchkiss, Colorado. A town of a few hundred people and where someone “egging” doors was headline news and if I were ever able to manage to get a date it would be wrong due to the fact I was releated to the entire town in one way or another…

Another memory is sitting around my Grandmother’s home watching University of Arizona basketball with my entire family. Cheering along with every Steve Kerr jump shot, leaping out of our seats with every Chris Mills fast break and finish, celebrating their wins and crying through their losses (I am referring to my beloved cousin Danny on this one). The only times we could hear ourselves talk was when we would all superstitiously sing the theme to Jack Furrier's westernTire Center so the Cats could pull out the victory. The rest of the time we were all muted, lost in the commotion if you will, as were all the commentators. There, above all, was my passionate Uncle arguing, commenting and for all intents and purposes “coaching” at the TV.  Like most adolescent memories, at the time I was annoyed, just wanting to hear the game and the roars of the crowed. Now, as a man, I look back on these times and treasure each moment; each time the ref “needed to pull the whistle from their ass” or “the refs are obviously paid off” are now sacred and sadly finding myself thinking the same things as I watch Pac12basketball.

My Uncle will always play a vital role in my life. I was lucky enough to have two parents who loved me; One affectionately and the other in his own, distant way. My Father, despite all of his faults, is a good man and I have never held anything against him or blamed him for any of my problems or him never being around, mostly because I have never felt I had anything missing from my life or childhood. Those “missing parts of our childhoods that only a father could fix” were never a concern for me. It wasn’t till later that I realized it was because the gaps were filled by an attentive Uncle who loved and treated me like a son. Teaching and playing basketball with me and his own kids, being that loud voice from the stands at all our sporting events that either was cheering us on or telling us to keep our head in the game and even helping me learn to drive a car as well as work on one…. There are many things a boy can only learn from a having a father around… I agree… I am fortunate enough to both have had a father as well as a surrogate one.

One of my faults in youth and now, to a lesser degree, is becoming easily annoyed. Mostly when people give an opinion and refuse to hear or cede that another opinion may be right. My Uncle and I would spend endless time “arguing” over the most inconsequential and trivial things. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that we weren’t arguing but discussing (be it loudly) these touchy topics. Moreover, I may have been arguing but he was always showing me that there are other opinions than my own (as wrong as they may be). These things that I once thought annoyed me are the very same that will make me laugh and smile 10, 20 and 30 years from now.

In 2010, my Uncle was diagnosed with esophageal cancer; another family member falling victim to cancer in my family. He has fought since day one by enduring chemo, radiation and multiple surgeries. Even now, as the final round of his bout approaches the end, he continues the fight.

 I have many heroes. Kevin Smith, Aaron Sorkin,Stan Lee, Robert Kirkman, Orson Welles and more. But chief among them is my Uncle. His strength, thirst for knowledge and love for his family will always serve as inspiration for me.

I wish I would have said all the above more the last 27 years, but I am saying them now. And putting it to stone in the cyber-verse for all to say and, like my Uncle has done for me, inspire all to love, pursue knowledge and understanding and, more importantly, take time to yell at the TV and coach your favorite team on to victory.

Forever your Tommy Two-Shoes,
Tommy